Wednesday, August 10, 2011

"The Greatest man I have ever loved"

The death of someone close to us leaves us shocked with grief. We cannot understand how one minute this person was here and the next they are gone. The truth is that those we love are never truly gone. The body may have run its course, but the soul lives forever. Human beings have been cognizant of eternal life since the beginning of time. Every culture has its own traditions about death and reincarnation.

A father will always be his daughter's first love. As I sit here trying to hold back the tears it marks 10 years for the death of my dad. The man by whom all others will be measured against. One of the defining moments of my adolescence was when I lost my dad at the age of 14. His loss came at a crucial time in my development and left me with wounds so deep it took me a very long time trying to heal them. It is always very difficult to lose someone that played a pivotal role in your life. And when a parent dies, a piece of you heart is gone forever.

My Dada’s death came so suddenly, literally like the proverbial "thief in the night" Oscar Wilde used to describe death in many of his poems. I was 14, my brothers were 18 and 22 and my dad was 59 - gone from a massive heart attack while watching a boxing match one of the many sports he adored.

This is my tribute to you Dada as you where honestly the Greatest Man I have ever known in my entire life!!! I have spoken to you every day for the past 10 years and we will continue to have endless conversations for the rest of my time here on earth. I am blessed to say I have your gentle hands, I have your crazy passion for dancing, I have your eloquent personality, I have your eyes and most of all I have your pure compassionate huge heart. O yes and I have your sense of humor. Mama always says I grew up to be just like you I totally agree with her! I would like to think I have made you proud and I will try my best to continue too. Your Divine teachings and wise words of which a phrase I remember so clearly: “Matha Pitha Guru Dev” which means Mother, Father, Teacher and then God are words that are echoed in my life. 10 years is a decade but I remember everything about you so perfectly from me braiding your long hair to opening you a can of Castle Lager :) I would like to Thank you for the amazing 14 years, you have tough me so much in your time here on earth and it is from you that I grow strength.

My Guardian Angel, My hero, My soldier, My greatest inspiration of all time, My number one. I love and Miss you Dada R.I.P.

Your baby Girl now and Forever
Neetasha Singh xxx

Friday, April 8, 2011

"Today's memories are tomorrow's tears"

"Your memory is a way of holding on to what you are, what you love, and what you never want to lose."

I guess change is honestly inevitable and is never far from our door, whether it's breaking up with an ex who you loved dearly, having a best friend move away, the death of a relative, the loss of a job or a demotion or something that once meant a great deal to you.

This post is dedicated to all my friends and family that have relocated and to those that are spread across the world, to those that I have lost contact with and to those that have stuck with me through it all.
Distance should never be the reason for the breaking of a friendship, compared to friendship Gold is dirt. I’ve lost many good friends in the past and it always never made any sense to me as to why, but as you grow life becomes clearer friendship is a marriage on its own , its time, commitment and dedication.

Each and every person that has crossed paths with me has affixed some sort of significance to my life. I truly believe there’s a reason to every meeting, to every friendship long or short, new or old. I guess God has a reason for people walking through your life and I can honestly say I have learnt something weather valuable, trivial or educational from every individual I have ever met in this life time.
This past week has been a bit of an emotional week for me resigning from work and the emotions of leaving SA in less than a month….I can openly say if it wasn’t for the support I have gotten from close friends in the past week I would have never been this strong, Friends are family they just have different surnames.

However something that is uncontrollable and the saddest part of life and growing up is that Strangers become friends and friends become complete strangers.
No other word sounds sweeter to my ears than Friends. My friends play a very important role in my life, they are my sunny afternoons, they are my lazy evenings, they are my crazy nights, they are my red hot anger, they are my foolish laughter, they are my sweet simple smiles….they are my world, for whatever they are. Friends get that life in you, they get the best out of you .But friends are also a part of our LIFE. A life which is a journey where we meet so many people only to realize we have to depart tomorrow. We become friends with strangers and strangers with friends. Life and time decides this change for us. However something that makes me happy and makes me smile is when I think of all my long-lost friends, and when I walk down memory lane and think of the first day we met, the interest we shared, those things we hated, those people we rebelled against, those strangers we fooled, that feeling of belonging to each other, sharing those things, waiting for long…or should I say….long waiting, those naughty giggles, those gifts exchanged, those crushes we shared, your first break-up, my first love…All those passing beautiful days and that last dreadful day…the day we departed.

I love and value every friend in my life. And to the friendships that are no longer Even though we have said good-bye, remember: We still watch the same sunset.

Much Love T xxx

Thursday, March 3, 2011

EDUCATION + HARDWORK = UNEMPLOYMENT but this equation only totals accurately if you are indian!!!

2010 was the 150th anniversary of the arrival of the Indian indentured workers and the birth of this community in South Africa. Durban is home to the largest Indian population in South Africa but don’t be too comfortable guys we should get ready to board the ship Truro and head on back to India.
How many of you have read this week’s Sunday Tribune? The article is below. Has apartheid reversed cause honestly I feel like the victim!!! My anger levels have finally hit its maximum. I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS GOVERNMENT!!!
Why should one study so hard and for so many years only to feel oppressed at the end? And our beautiful country is not to blame,I love South Africa a whole lot, these are the decisions of THE IDIOTS running the country. Can we not see beyond color has TaTa Madiba worked so hard for us to move one step forward and seven steps back.

Sunday Tribune 19 March : More than 300000 Indians in KwaZulu-Natal would have to migrate to find jobs if a government amendment to the Labour Bill is successful.

In December, the Department of Labour proposed a change to Section 42 of the Employment Equity Act which replaces the regional racial demographic for equity compliance with a national benchmark.
Critics says if passed, the bill would have negative consequences for coloureds in the Western Cape and Indians in KwaZulu-Natal .
Employers, they say, would be forced when employing staff to ensure that four out of five new appointments or promotions are reserved for African workers. Failure to do so by an employer would result in penalties.
The Solidarity Research Institute - part of Trade Union Solidarity - released a study this week which revealed that, if the bill is passed, "more than 300000 Indians in KwaZulu-Natal would have to leave this province in order for race-group targets to be met".
The institute said in order for the proposed bill to reach its goals, the KZN Indian workforce would decrease by about 75%. The group would be forced to move to find jobs.
Dirk Hermann, deputy general secretary of Solidarity, called the changes "unfeasible social engineering".
He said it would not reflect the economically active population but national demographics. "Each workplace ... would have to have a 73.7% representation of black employees, 10.9% representation of coloured, 3.2% representation of Indians and a 12.2% representation of white employees."
"This is absurd and not practical," he said.
Solidarity would take legal action if the amendments are passed.
Political analyst Sanusha Naidu said if the bill was passed it would further marginalise Indian job seekers, making them think there was no opportunity in the country, and causing them to feel apathetic.
Naidu said influential Indian businessmen should step up and voice their thoughts on the proposed changes.
"I want to know what these Indian captains of industry are saying. Are they saying 'let's now promote the skills because we also believe the Indian community has been disadvantaged, we also believe that the Indian community has lost out and we want to address some of these issues'?"
Naidu said there was the perception that Indians had not been historically disadvantaged and were "wealthy".
Andrew Layman, CEO of the Durban Chamber of Commerce and Industry, said it was perfectly logical for companies to mirror the demographics of a particular locality but added that to extend it nationally, was counterproductive and illogical. "It seems someone has extended the principal of equity beyond logical bounds. Local demographics should be the driving force of equity."
He said if the bill was passed, Indians would be at a most disadvantage in the search for jobs.
Rajen Reddy, chief executive of KZN Oils, said the issue was an emotional one because of apartheid, adding that government needed to be careful when redressing imbalances.
He said his business was based on merit which is a "necessity in business".
"You can't rush and get emotional. Business is about rands and cents. You have to do what it takes to make money. Government works on other principals but business is different."
He said if the changes were made, the oil business would be affected as there were many whites who had necessary skills.
"What do I do then, kick them out? I will not do that to KZN Oils. I want their expertise. I want to use their skills to empower our people so all can have a better life."
Minority Front leader Amichand Ranjbansi said the proposed changes would "trample" on indian minorities in the country.
The DA's George Mari said he was "appalled" by the proposed changes, saying it would have a devastating effect on the Indian comminty.

My advice is if this bill is passed dear friends, your options are : Get married out of your race, open your own business or leave at any Cost, its clear that with such circumstances it is almost impossible to live the life you deserve!!!

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

So whats your definition of Love

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're writting this down. Lol I’m sorry guy’s I’m a really confused women when it comes to that over used under meant word. I can’t say I haven’t been in love I totally have or so I think. I mean this world is constantly changing we all can’t say we the same as 5 years ago so isn’t it possible for your love to change as well. I believe there are two types of love: To love your partner or to be in love with your partner. So with that said how do you know if it’s True love???
How did our parents do it? Wedding bliss for over 30 to 40 years…..

Okay so after several dates, you feel you've found the perfect person. This is your dream mate, the one who will stand by you through thick and thin. You're ready to tie the knot at last.
But is it love? Or is it a cheap imitation, like infatuation, lust, or even simple companionship? A few nights back I was giving advice to a heartbroken friend and I found myself going about it total wrong. After much consideration I have come up with the following questions to help us determine if we you are truely INLOVE:

• Do you want what's best for this person, or do you want what this person can do to help you? For example and I’m placed in a similar situation at the moment, if your mate has the chance to get a wonderful job in another city, are you willing to pull up stakes and move, or will you expect the job opportunity to get tossed aside for you? Love means putting the other person's needs ahead of your own, even when that involves sacrifice. While blind agreement to any difference of opinion is unrealistic and unreasonable, a thoughtful discussion of what is better for each of you individually as well as both of you as a couple needs to take place.
• Do you enjoy looking at the person or talking to the person more? Both are important to a mature relationship, but if you find yourself fixated on physical appearance, attracted to your mate because of face, figure, or form, you may be taking a superficial look at your loved one. On the other hand, you don't want to be taken in by flattery or false statements. If your significant other is all talk and no action, that can be a warning sign to drop the relationship before you end up with one broken promise after another. A balance of physical and mental attraction is a healthy signal.
• Are you willing to wait to make the relationship work? For example, if your mate pushes you to do things you don't feel comfortable with, can you firmly say no? Will your response be handled respectfully and with patience? It goes both ways, too. Are you willing to wait on your partner to get more serious when he or she is ready, or are you demanding more interaction now? Can you wait to marry until the other person finishes studies or are you pushing to live together first? Patience is an important virtue associated with a successful relationships.
• Do you support each other by anticipating and meeting needs? For example, if you need to work extra right now to pay off debt before getting married, does your mate understand that the situation is temporary and willingly waits for you, rather than complain about your absence? If the person has a list of errands to run before the two of you can get together, do you offer to help?
• Are you friends? Companionship lasts much longer than ardor, I mean people in their 70's, 80's, and 90's may lose some of their physical spontaneity, but they maintain a quest for fun and a shared life until the end. Do you laugh together? Enjoy similar activities? Share each other with friends and family?

Loving another person involves self-sacrifice and compromise. If you are attracted to someone for whom you are unwilling to be patient and to share all parts of your life, you may have a lot of work to do or disappointment to deal with after the wedding. Take time now to assess your relationship with these and other factors to see if you can make a life that could last with Gods blessing fifty years or more with the person of your dreams.

A quick poem sorry for being sappy:

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” —I Corinthians 13:4-8a (NIV)

May you be with your true Soulmate!!!

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

A Journey of Self Discovery Abe Bailey 2010

The Abe Bailey tour has created in me a sense of great pride for myself and for my country.

2010signified an unforgettable year not only for me but for the entire nation, young,old,orthodox,exhibitionists,faithful and the faithless all came together united as one nation in successfully hosting the 2010 Soccer World Cup. What more could a South African ask for, little did I know that I would be blessed further. The 17th of November 2010 marked a dream come true for me, the beginning of a life changing experience. As I was met with 17 warm, compassionate, funny, open minded and kindhearted aspiring leaders. My journey of self discovery began.

While walking through the pathways of London and romantically punting down the beautiful Cambridge Rivers, I gained insight into their education system and my understanding of their way of life maximized. In the company of thorough professionals I received criticism, acknowledgement and gave acceptance and understanding to the opinions of others. Ambition, pride, thrust, zest and the desire to succeed was just some of the qualities my colleagues possessed. We lived, laughed and learned together creating memories which will live on forever.
I was so proud, humbled and impressed to see the kind of young people South Africa has and was even more inspired in my love for our country. I’ve gained the true definition of a leader and came back with a greater passion for our country and a burning desire to make a significant contribution.

From walking out of Robben Island in tears after standing in the cell of one of the world’s greatest men, to walking in the house of the Lords, sitting around the table with MPs, dinning with the principle of an Oxford College, Curling in Scotland with the local Rotary Club ,has all contributed to my experience which has changed my life in more ways than one and has opened my eyes to what is going on in the world around me.
One of my most admired quotes by William Shakespeare: “Some are born great , some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them” and I truly believe that this tour is by far the greatest gift afforded to young South Africans by the Abe Bailey Trust.

One of the highlights for me, which I believe was the most important aspect of the tour, was the individual presentation and subsequent discussions. With 18 strong minded individuals with strengths and talents in different areas of life these debates was a powerful platform to express your views and have some of South Africa’s problems addressed that could facilitate social change in cohesion.

My experience of the group: Keeve, Adriaan, David, Tshego, Abrie, Mario, Marius, Richard, Lindelani, Cherese, Toni, Marizelle, Caterina, Gerldine, Ayesha, Marna and Phiwe are some of the finest people you could possibly meet in this world!!! I felt I learnt a lot about everyone’s experiences of growing up in South Africa, as well as their individual institutions. The experience of each other’s disciplines and different upbringings allowed interesting conversations to take place throughout the tour. I am greatly encouraged by the people I met on this trip. There enthusiastic patriotism, intelligent discussions and warm friendship have re-affirmed my belief in the youth of the New South Africa. I’ve learnt that South Africa’s diverse culture has as much validity and relevance as England’s and that we owe it to ourselves and future generations to learn as much as we can about it.

South Africa has so much untouched potential and beauty and certainly is alive with possibilities for growth and social transformation. Between difficulties we can find opportunity where color creed or race holds no significance in the identification of the caliber of an individual. The day when South Africa will truly be a united nation and we all stand proudly together as one ‘Khomanani’
I would like to thank Sir Abe and the Abe Bailey foundation for entrusting me with this exhilarating tour and expanding my knowledge of a broader horizon outside of South Africa. Words cannot express my gratitude to Dr John Gibbon for his hard work during and in-between each tour, in meeting new Abes and keeping in touch with the old ones. You became the father to our 2010 tour family and without you none of this would have been possible. Again, Thank you Sir Abe Bailey for having the foresight to realize the value of a trip such as this.